NOTE: I do not write this in hopes of making you feel sorry for me. Honestly. I write as a sort of release. I feel much better about things if I am able to transfer them out of my head and either onto a screen or a sheet of paper. So if you read this and think I’m being whiny and selfish, that’s fine and dandy. I might be being whiny and selfish. But I am writing exactly as I feel, not as a means for attention.
This week has been one of those that I am certainly not sad to see end. At this very moment, I am watching the clock turn to 10:01PM. In less than two hours, it will be a new day. A new week. And may this one be better than the last!
Sunday – My son and I missed church because he was sick. Fortunately, he did start feeling much better and was able to participate in the Christmas play at church that night. He did very well and I am so proud of him! That was my highlight…honestly. Unfortunately, he started feeling much worse and ended up going to the Urgent Care on…
Monday – Monday, Monday. What could I possibly say about Monday? I spent a mere two and a half hours at work. Much of that time was used to try and reach my son’s doctor’s office, to no avail. Finally, I gave up trying to call them and decided to take the child to Urgent Care. I’m so glad I did. They were able to get him in, get him tested for both flu and strep (which were both thankfully negative) and then get him out. They were quite exceptional and I no longer was irate that I was again unable to reach my son’s doctor’s office. Moving on…
Tuesday – I dragged myself into work, tired and weary from lack of sleep. My son was left with his great-grandmother while a worried mommy went on to work. Because I have to, you know, make money. What. A. Fun. Day.
We ended up having a bunch of computers show up as infected with malware, so we had to remotely re-install the operating system on every single one. Most of these machines were for bank tellers, so we had to install a lot of special programs that must pull information from each specific branch server and yadda, yadda. Much fun. Wowe.
I voluntarily stayed at work until 6:30 to assist in the process, since the majority of the machines would be in use until after hours. My husband picked up the kid after he got off of work. I finally made my way home and ordered a pizza, because I was pooped.
I visited my regular doctor for a follow-up today after having to reschedule yesterday’s appointment to take my son to the doctor. There’s one doctor that (unless I get sick) I won’t have to visit again for another six months. Hoorah! I like my doctors, but I’d rather not have to see them quite so much.
Wednesday – The child went back to school, but I went back to work even more tired than the previous day. Anxiety has kept me up later. His coughing in the middle of the night has woken me up and I found it hard to fall back asleep.
We started the process of calling all of the people whose computers we had fixed so that we could get the rest of their stuff going. It was a race against time as we hurried to get Tellers ready for customers when the branches opened at 9:00. Even after that, the rest of the day was spent tying up loose knots and doing some quick configuration changes.
Thursday – THEN my husband woke up with the crud, so I made him a doctor’s appointment for that afternoon. No big deal.
Work was boring, to say the least. Things had quietened down considerably and people were slowly starting to stop calling us to ask for things to be re-installed. They finally started putting in help desk tickets, which I currently do not work with. In fact, I was so bored I am pretty sure I dozed off at my desk. I ended up taking an hour lunch break (even though I had to leave work an hour early and intended to work through lunch) simply because I knew if I didn’t get some food and get out of the office that I was going to start snoring! I was still tired from lack of sleep and the usual, everyday fatigue I have been experiencing nearly every day was really catching up to me.
I ended up leaving work for an appointment with my therapist, which I believe went considerably well. I will talk more about this in another post.
Friday – I think I literally woke up and the first letters uttered from my lips were “TGIF!”
Pretty much the same experience at work as the day before: bored. Just a couple of us in the office for most of the day so it was even more quiet than usual.
At some point in time, my coworker left for lunch and I was left alone in the building. I turned on some music to try to fill the silence. I was getting a headache. I laid my head down just for a second and before I knew it, the sound of my coworker yelling in the cubicle next to me woke me abruptly. Ironically, I had left the stopwatch going on my iPod and realized in horror that I had slept for 33 minutes! I thought he was yelling at ME. Turns out, he was yelling at another coworker over the phone. Awkward. I turned off the music and immediately got back to work, hoping that there was no way he noticed that I had fallen asleep. My cubicle is at the front of the room, so it would be pretty hard for him not to notice me napping unless he was just completely unobservant.
I thought the sound of his badge unlocking the front door would wake me, but apparently it didn’t. I was (and still am) so ashamed! He didn’t say anything about it to me (though I think he was still fuming about that phone call), so I pretended like it didn’t happen. He knows my kid has been sick and I have obviously been more tired and experiencing headaches, migraines, and whatnot. So maybe he didn’t mind me taking a short nap. Because technically, he IS my boss: he’s one step up higher the food chain than I am. What if he mentions it to me? What if he tells on me? I certainly don’t want to lose my job! So that has kind of got me quite anxious. Especially since this is not the first time I have obviously stared at my computer monitor in a vain attempt at keeping myself awake.
Saturday – TODAY.
My hubby woke up feeling even worse. So I whisked him up to the Urgent Care clinic for a flu test, which also came back negative. He just has a really, really bad sinus infection and has been so congested and coughing until he vomits. It’s terrible. When he gets sick, he really gets sick. And he’s allergic to the good cough syrup–the kind with codeine in it.
So, as you can tell…
There is A LOT on my mind right now. Seriously. My body is so tired, I want to sleep, but my brain won’t stop.
This is the week of Christmas. I still haven’t finished shopping. I haven’t wrapped a single gift. My husband is sick. I’m finishing up a round of antibiotics and prednisone in a couple of days and still have popping ears and a sore neck.
So…hey, uh, brain? Could you please slow down just a little? I’m pretty sure my body wants rest. Kthnxbye.