Early in the Morning

I know I have to wake up at 5:00 tomorrow morning to drive my husband to the hospital for his surgery. Insomnia: why are you still keeping me awake…tonight, of all nights?!

It’s only Wednesday and this has been a long week. Between car trouble, financial insecurity, and some of my stomach issues resurfacing, I have been left completely drained.

My apartment is a mess. Dirty laundry is piled in the corner, completely oblivious to the existence of a laundry basket. Currently, I have three piles of clean laundry: one at the top of the stairs (spilling over from the top of the laundry basket), one on the couch, and one in the dryer…forgotten. Dirty dishes and food stained pans litter the sink and counter. Countless crumbs of multiple sizes are scattered under the kitchen table. My child’s room looks like a tornado has hit it (while my child is spending the night with a family member tonight). A pair of shoes here…and a pair of shoes there. I cannot remember the last time the bathroom sink looked so nasty. The fridge is overflowing with forgotten leftovers and nearly empty or out-of-date containers of who-knows-what.

At least my car is clean (can’t say the same thing for my husband’s.)

Work has been stressful. I am loving my job, but finding myself having about the same reaction as someone who cannot swim and has just been thrown into a lake. I’ve been told it is just the ever-growing Information Technology industry. But I am actually doing what I worked my rear end off for a degree for and I am so completely happy and so blessed.

Tonight–first and foremost–I pray that my husband’s surgery tomorrow goes well. I know he has been through worse in the course of his lifetime and am confident that he can handle this, too. I am thankful for the anxiety medication that I have been taking. Without it, I would probably be a mess. I might still be a mess, especially if I don’t get some sort of coffee tomorrow morning. I don’t know how I am going to feel waiting all alone in the outpatient surgery lobby. I plan on taking a book, some paperwork that needs to be filled out anyways, and a mobile device with me to have plenty of things to do to keep myself occupied.

Right now, though, I pray for sleep. I need at least a decent night’s sleep just to get out of bed tomorrow. We know the surgeon is good; he performed our son’s appendectomy back in March (a story for another post). We also know that the Great Physician is even better. He performs miracles every single day. He has done so much for us, even though I sometimes have a hard time remember this when the going gets tough. Yeah, the going has gotten pretty tough lately, but I have to keep praying.

He never gives us more than He knows we can handle. We’re stronger than we tend to think.

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